Discover how you can create a lasting bond in a blended family with these step-parenting guides. Parents often find it a difficult task progressing when they blend to create stepfamilies. This certain situation usually happens when some children try to resist the change or parent’s expectations of the new family does not match the previous family. Check out the ten guidelines on how to create a bond in a blended family.
1. Plan for a blended family. When you together with your partner decide to make a life together, consider how the children from the previous relationship will blend in the new family. Blended families usually take a long time to function well together and feel comfortable.
Children may feel uncertain about the way the changes will affect the relationships with their natural parents. Some kids may not even like their new siblings who might frustrate your efforts of creating a bond in a blended family. Firstly, start by laying the foundation for the new family members to get used to each other.
2. Make changes slowly. Avoid drastic family changes by waiting for at least two years or more after divorce to get married again. Consequently allow you and the children to settle and blend in the new family easily.
3. Falling in love with your partner’s children will take time. Love and affection develop slowly. Therefore, you should take it easy getting to knowing and understanding them. However, you can insist that both sets of children treat each other with respect.
4. Seek for ways to look for a life together as a family. Consider daily activities that bring a bond in a blended family such as having dinner together or taking both sets of kids to an amusement park so that your children get used to your partner’s children.
5. What parenting changes will you make in your new marriage? Agree with your partner how both of you intend to parent together. Additionally, it will allow you to make necessary adjustments before you move in together and the children will find the transition smooth and appealing.
6. Do not tolerate ultimatums. In situations where your partner or kids put dilemma where you have to choose between them, don’t allow it but instead remind them both sets of people are important in your life. In this way, you will be gradually creating a bond in your blended family.
7. Work towards making your blended family successful. While you may be working on building a relationship with a blended family that is similar to your previous marriage, sometimes such efforts may cause frustrations, confusion, and disappointment.
8. Invest in a stable marriage. The family exists because there is marriage. Embrace the differences in your blended family and learn to grow and mature with parenting despite the hardships.
9. Figure out what to call each other. While this may seem simple it can help with some fears about new step relationships. A good name is respectful to the biological parent and can limit the confusion for the children. I don’t believe in using first names because you need to differentiate yourself from everyone else.
10. Learn to be civil. It is important that members of a blended family regularly remain civil with each other and avoid hurting each other on purpose. Do not let yourself be withdrawn from your partner or your partner’s children.
11. Show compassion for every member’s development. Everyone in your family may have different tastes and needs at various stages of their development. Sometimes, they may be in their teens or toddlers trying to blend in the new family. Honor and be compassionate with them as well as allowing room for growth.
What has been your experience in creating a bond in your blended family? Leave us a comment below.