Being a step-parent isn’t easy

Being a step-parent isn’t always easy, while some are immediately welcomed by the children (often when they’re younger) and sometimes it can be a rocky and rough transition to incorporate the stepparent into a child or children’s lives. I know you’re probably wondering how exactly the word Stad or Stom came to be, and I’d like to share that with you as it’s crucial to understanding what that means in the world of parenting and how it brought me into the world of parenting as the role of a stepparent. You see, fifteen years ago I got with a woman who became my wife and already has a son. I eagerly wanted to be a part of his life and immediately stepped in to try and fulfill that role. However, being eager to be a step parent isn’t all that it takes in order to actually become one. It’s a lot of hard work, commitment and trial and error which doesn’t guarantee that it’ll always go smoothly.stomina_mug

So after some time I thought it’d be great to sit down with my step-son and discuss what it would take for him to not only feel comfortable with me, but to find enough acceptance that I could become a step-parent and viewed as such in his mind. It was at that moment that he coined the word “Stad,” and since then has since referred to me as such which has not only filled me with joy, but created a strong bond between the two of us. As you’ve probably already figured out a Stad is the coined phrase that is used to refer to a step-dad just as Stom would be the equivalent of a step-mother.

Being a stepparent means accepting other children or a child into your life and viewing them in the same way that you would view your own (if you have any,) but ultimately treating them as you would want someone to treat yours. In many cases the actual father figure or mother figure may be absent in the child’s life, leaving them to deal with the task of raising a child by themselves. This might mean providing financially or assisting in providing financially. It can also mean opening up a whole new gateway to starting family traditions, creating new bonds and connections with that child. Often times when one parent is absent and a stepparent steps up, the child will view that step-parent as it’s biological.

With divorce rates on the rise it’s not so uncommon to find blended families which just means there is a step-parent involved. If done correctly, both parents and step-parents can co-parent in a way that is both beneficial and crucial to the mental and psychological well-being of the child or children involved. Children can benefit from the involvement of Stom’s and Stad’s because they can impact a child in a positive way that means sometimes stepping up to the plate of an absent parent and attending sporting events, school plays and more.

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